Stars in the Sky
by goneofftodream
Summary: Love. What is it? It's a feeling that never goes away even when you beg it to. Love is when you hold their hand in your like it something that could slip away instantly. I never got to tell someone these three words, "I love you." That's something that I have regretted every day. I hope that one day I can tell you these words, "I love you."


_Love. What is it? It's a feeling that never goes away even when you beg it to. Love is when you hold their hand in your like it something that could slip away instantly. I never got to tell someone these three words, "I love you." That's something that I have regretted every day. I hope that one day I can tell you those words, "I love you" because I can't go a day without thinking about you, about us. The last thing I saw before everything went black was the stars, and the last thing I thought of was you…_

2 Days Earlier:

"McCullers ! Cover me." I glance over at my friend has he reloads and give him a slight nod. I watched as he began running for the target, eyes open for anything that was a threat. Scanning my eyes over the perimeter, I spotted a figure crouched in the corner.

"Birdy, cover Toby," I said as I pointed towards the figure. He nodded and took my spot before I headed towards the figure. I slowly walked towards the corner. Whimpers became more apparent as I got closer. Raising my gun, I crouched down to get a better look. There was a girl, who couldn't be more than six, holding a doll in her hands as tears began to stream down her face. I glanced around to make sure that I was clear to put away my gun. I leaned towards the child and allowed her to wrap her arms around my neck as I pick her up. I jump when the silence was broken by gunfire. I peered around the corner to see Birdy firing his AK47. When the gunfire stopped, I made my way back to the Birdy, moving as quietly as I could. I saw Toby running back as the gunfire started up again.

"We have to move," I heard Toby yell as ran towards us. Birdy pulled himself from the ditch and began running towards the field where we parked the car. I hurried the girl into the car and Toby hopped into the passenger seat. Birdy drove like I have never seen before.

"We got it," Toby said waving a box in the air. I sighed with relief as I look out the window. The sun was setting and stars where beginning to glisten in the violet sky. It's been three years since I have been able to look at the stars in relief. This is my third tour in Afghanistan, and I'm hoping after a few more missions I'll be able to live a normal life.

"McCullers ? You okay?" Toby asked as he looked back at me.

"Yeah. I'm just thinking what 's going to happen when all of this is over."

"Well first of all, we are going to go home, get drunk, and try to pretend like we're in college again." I hear a chuckle escape my mouth as I listen to Toby talk. We've been friend since boot camp, without him, I don't think I could be where I am now, I owe him everything.

We arrived at the base where we left the girl with nurse. We had been on the stakeout for the past week trying to recover plans and maps of hideout that was holding civilians and soldiers hostage. For all we know they could be dead, but we never leave one of our own behind.

"Sergeant McCullers. Sergeant Cavanaugh." Toby and I turn to salute Colonel Ames, "at ease Sergeants. Now my I see that box." He indicated pointing to the box in Toby's hand. The Colonel set it on this table and opened it. It was filled with papers and maps. We began skimming through the material looking for something useful. Toby laid out a map as we began studying it. The building was heavily guard and it seemed like the only access point was through the guards. It would take an entire platoon to get through there and we are strung out on reinforcements as it is.

"There has to be another access point," Toby kept insisting.

"Toby, this is the only way in, the other ways would be pointless, our explosive won't be able to break through."

Toby's eyes widened as he realized what I was trying to say, "It's a suicide mission." Colonel Ames looked up in dismay as he accepted the truth.

"Toby's right. But from our Intel there are at least nine people who are alive in there."

"I'll go…" I say closing my eyes as I waited for Toby to try to convenience me out of it, but it never came. I open them to find Toby starring back at me with sadness. I have had too many losses in my life and if I have a chance to same one person in exchange for my life, I will.

"It looks like there is a hill that has a good angle near the building; we will have Birdy and Finch snipe from there. Maybe they can take out some of our competition," he said giving me a forceful smile. Once we had finalized our plans, I head to the barrack to clean up. I washed to grim off my face and arms before I hopped in the shower. After dinner Toby and I headed to gather our equipment for the mission.

"Paige…why are you doing this?" He stared longingly at me.

"I've killed too many people when I could have saved them. If I have to chance to save at least one person, I will. Toby, I know that you might not understand why I'm doing this, but I can't live a life where I let innocent people die." I packed up the rest of my equipment and headed back towards the barracks leaving Toby with a look out sadness in his eyes. People may think that I want to glory and recognition for what I'm doing, but I don't. If I leave this world, I want to leave it knowing that I did something good in this world besides killing another human being.

Sleeping that night was impossible, flashbacks kept invading my thoughts. I got up and changed into my uniform before heading out towards an open area. The sky was illuminated with stars. I pulled a piece of paper and pen out of my pocket and began to write something that I never thought I would ever be writing.

_It's been three years since I last saw you and two years since I last wrote you. I know that I haven't always been there, in fact I've never really been there, and you have always been there for me. If you're reading this then I'm no longer here, but I've gone to a better place, where there is no war or violence only peace. That's all I've ever wanted, peace. I want you to know for those four years since we have been apart, I have never once stopped thinking about you. Whenever I can't sleep I think of all the good times that we had. Whenever I feel a wave of guilt flood over me I think of you and how you would tell me is wasn't my fault. Every time I look into the sky and see the stars, I think of the first time we met under neither a star lit night. I wish that I could have that moment back again. The way you made me feel is something that has never happened to me before, and if I could say one last thing to you, I would say "I love you." _

I heard the ground rustle next to me as I saw Toby holding his gear in one hand and mine in another.

"Toby, if I don't, if I don't make it back today. Can you give this to Emily," I said handing the letter to him.

"Paige…don't say that. You're coming back, we all are."

"Just take it please…" I said as I feel my voice quiver.

"I'm going to give this back to you tonight," he said trying to lighten the mood as he took the letter and put it in his breast pocket. Within the hour we were on the road heading toward our target. Birdy and Finch set up on a hilltop while Toby and I began to make our way towards to the building. It was surrounded by guards, who were crowded around the entrance way. Birdy and Finch began taking out the guard one by one, soon they had scattered as Toby and I made our way toward the entrance. The steel door was blown off with explosives and we cautiously entered the building. Dust filled the air and it was hard the see through the thick haze.

"McCullers ! In here." I hear Toby's voice from the right of me. I moved towards him and held my flashlight at an angle to get a better view. The floor was scattered with bodies of soldiers and civilians. We made our way into the room. Movement caught our eye as we saw nine hostages chained up to a wall. Toby quickly made his way over and released them with bolt cutters.

_"Toby, we got company. Armed vehicle heading from the north." _I heard Finch's voice through the radio. I looked at Toby and he began to cut the chains off as fast as he could. I ushered the hostages up the stairs and out into the open.

"Private, I want you to take them over towards the hillside; one of us men will be waiting for you there. Stay off the roads."

"Yes, ma'am," he said with a salute before leading them into the McCullers . I ran back into the building to see Toby herding the rest of them out.

"Help…" we heard a feeble voice.

"Toby. Go. I'll be right behind you."

"Come back alive. Please," he said before vanishing. I turned to try and figure out where the voice was coming from.

"Help…please."

"I got you," I said as I found a little boy tied to a post. I heard distant gunfire from outside. Quickly untying the rope, I lift the boy and starting running towards the stairs. I spot Toby not too far ahead of me, but I see the vehicle approaching with speed. I take cover behind a broken wall, as bullets start whizzing all around me. The field was only a few yards away; I lift the boy off my back.

"See that field over there." He nods "I want to go through those McCullers to get to that hill," I said point to the hill. He nods. "On the count of three I want you to run," I signaled holding up three fingers. Three. Two. One. The boy began to run towards the McCullers as I took aim as the vehicle. Thankfully my shots distracted them enough for the boy to get to the field safely.

_"McCullers duck!"_ I hear through the radio. The next minute I see a Toby throwing a grenade with perfect aim. He grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the field. The next thing I see is myself on the ground, Toby right next to me. My head is spinning, but I can't tell from what. I turn over and open my eyes. I see a hole next to where we just were. They must have gotten us with a grenade. I look over at Toby, his face was covered with blood and dirt, but he didn't seem to have any immediate injuries. I steady myself as I get up, the spinning of my head was gone and reality came back to me. I grabbed Toby by the arms and began pulling him towards the McCullers . Something hit me in the side and I crumpled to the ground. My head was starting to spin again. I stumble and pulled Toby into the field out of view.

"Toby!" Nothing. "Toby!" I hear myself scream. I see his eyes flutter open and he springs to his feet. I feel tears start to stream down my face, thankful that he was alive. I head the crunching of wheat as a dozen of Afghanis jumped out with guns. I was able to disarm the first one taking his gun, but halted when I saw Toby in a headlock with a gun pointed at his head.

"Drop it, or he dies."

"Shoot him," I heard Toby grumble before he was knocked out with the butt of the gun. I slowing dropped the gun and kicked it so that it landed into between Toby's feet.

"Ah, good girl doesn't want to see her friend die. Well now your friend will get to see you die," he filtered out. He let Toby fall to the ground on top of the gun.

"Aw, what a skin you have," he said as he ties my hands behind my back. He reached for his knife and began running it along my arm.

"You know what I like. I like it when I'm able to meet a pretty girl like you. But a pretty girl like you must be punished you know." I felt a tearing sensation in my forearm as we dragged the blade through my skin. "You aren't so beautiful now, are you?" The rage was building up in me, he was face to face with me and I mustered up the rest of my courage and spit right in his face. He screamed in rage as he let his knife go flying. I felt the tearing sensation on my right eyebrow as blood began to trickle down my face. My head was beginning to spin, when I noticed that Toby was no longer lying in field. The Afghani pulled out his gun and pushed it into my stomach. I heard gunfire from behind and everything started to become blurry. I felt Toby swinging me over his back and running towards what I assumed to be the hill.

"Get a chopper," I heard him yell. Then he was gently placing me on the ground.

"Paige, stay with me," I could sense the panic in his voice, but everything seemed so hard. The stars started to go out of focus as my eyes began to become heavy.

"Paige, stay with me, stay with me. You can't go. Please. Stay with me..."


End file.
